Note: I wrote this originally as a memo for some of my closest friends and for the founders I coach back in February 2024. However, it seems that recently, I’m meeting more people who say they’re tired than energized. Therefore, I decided to write this in hopes that those who struggle with constant fatigue can find some respite. The memo has only been edited for clarity. A version of this is also cross-posted on my Substack.
👉 About this document
If you're a founder, you're grinding hard and firing on all cylinders, constantly. You hopefully prioritize your health so you have the fuel to build your company successfully. But chances are, you're stressed and (likely) sleep-deprived.
Building a company is stressful. But there are some things we can do about it to help you sleep a little better.
Whenever we’re prevented from having a good night of sleep, there are usually several culprits that impact our body’s circadian rhythm. We call it by many names — insomnia, anxiety, stress, worry. This write-up is designed to tackle those in the most natural way I’ve found effective.
I’m not a doctor, psychologist, or expert of any kind - this is purely speaking from what has worked for me based on what I’ve tried on myself, what I’ve read in books, what I’ve learned from other wise people, and what other guinea pigs people who have tried my protocol have found most effective.
Please keep this in mind as you’re reading the following. I’ve tried bolding all the main steps below for ease of reading. I’ve also linked all the products I use at the very end of the post, if you want to buy the exact same stuff I use and have had success with.
The Sleep Protocol
👉 Part One: The Wind-Down Setup
1. Decide what time you want to go to bed.
I typically wake up between 4:40am and 5:00am. Therefore, I picked 8:40pm as my bedtime, to give myself 7-8 hours of sleep.
This is the optimal amount of time for me to enter and stay in deep sleep, experience REM sleep with vivid dreams right before waking up, and rising with minimal grogginess.
2. Calculate what time to begin the Wind-Down Routine.
Based on your bedtime, your wind-down time should begin about 1-1.5 hours before that time.
In my case, since 8:40pm is my bedtime, I use 7:00-7:30pm as my wind-down time to begin the Routine.
3. Set an alarm to remind you to begin your Wind-Down Routine about 1-1.5 hours before your picked bedtime.
Many people set alarms to wake up, but people fail to set alarms to get ready for bed. If we treat wake-up alarms as tools of discipline to help us stay on schedule, why don’t we use wind-down alarms as tools of discipline, too?
See below for the Wind-Down Routine (what you do after the alarm goes off!)
👉 Part Two: The Wind-Down Routine
Your wind-down alarm has gone off, and now it’s time to begin the Wind-Down Routine. Here’s what that includes.
1. Put on blue light glasses as the sun begins to set.
I begin wearing blue light glasses around 6:00pm. They’re cheap on Amazon, and super effective, for filtering out the addictive light that tricks and confuses your brain.
Blue light doesn’t only come from your cell phone and laptop. We have blue light coming from all different directions: almost every electronic device we own emits it — even car headlights emit blue light, making you susceptible during commutes.
Blue light is designed to keep our brains stimulated (more on that below.) So, if I’m driving any time after 6:00pm, I try to wear my blue light glasses and switch the rear view mirror in my car to night mode (where it tints the intensity and brightness of car headlights.) I keep the glasses on any time I’m exposed to lights from any electronics.
Setting an alarm is optional, because you might not need an alarm to tell you when to put on your blue light glasses (for example, I don’t have an alarm anymore - instead, I built the habit of putting them on right after my last meeting wraps up for the day.) But if you’re having trouble remembering when to put blue light glasses on, don’t be afraid of relying on a little alarm.
2. Put away all electronic devices out of sight (also, an Interlude on why I hate Blue Light)
First, I put my phone on a wireless charger in my office.
Why? Because the wireless charger means I can’t touch the device or move it around if I want it to be actively charging. It’s too easy to mindlessly grab your phone when it’s attached to a cable and use it - but on a wireless charger, you’re less likely to touch it until it’s done charging.
And why store your electronics in the office? Why not the bedroom? Because this signals to my brain that the office is the place for electronics and work.
The #1 mistake I see many people making is bringing electronics into their bedrooms. Electronics in your bedroom confuse your brain, because electronics are stimulating, but you want your bedroom to be as un-stimulating as possible: its only purpose is for relaxation, sex, and sleep. By bringing electronics into the bedroom, this signals to your brain that the bedroom is a place you want to stay up and engage in devices.
Also, electronics have blue light (see above). Given that it’s designed to keep our brains on, it is probably the #1 disruptor of our circadian rhythm: human bodies are designed to wake up with the sunrise, and sleep when the sun sets.
If you have electronics everywhere, it tells your body: it’s time to be awake! It’s time to do stuff! And then we do stuff until we’re so utterly tired, we pass out from exhaustion. What a terrible way to live!
That’s why in the mornings when you want to wake up from the lull of deep sleep, you sometimes grab your phone and start scrolling. You tell yourself, “If I touch my phone, then I’ll more readily wake up.”
This is also a terrible way to wake up. You begin polluting your brain with attention grabbers like news, social media, and unnecessary apps. And more dangerously, you train your brain that if it wants to wake up, it needs to wait for stimulation. Not good, because without stimulation, you won’t be able to get up quite as easily. We want to train your body to wake up feeling rested and re-energized naturally, without devices.
The bottom line? DON’T bring electronics into your room, especially ones with stimulating apps and activities like text messaging. Put it in your office to charge, and close the door. If you don’t have an office, put it somewhere where you will not go for the rest of the day, such as in a filing cabinet (you can use a cabled charger in this case), face down on your desk (don’t walk by it for the rest of the day), or the living room (behind a TV or in the most boring corner.)
Note: It helps if you have a ritual you do. For me, my ritual is:
- Last meeting of the day just finished.
- My phone goes on the wireless charger. This tells my brain, “I’m done talking to people digitally for the day, on text and on social media.”
- I close my laptop, and push it to the back of the desk. Closing makes me think, “My workday is over.” (I used to put my laptop in the filing cabinet next to my desk, when I was less disciplined, and having it on the desk was tempting, even with the top shut.)
- I turn off my external monitor. This once again says, “My workday is over.”
- I clear my desk of any clutter, to make starting the workday more inviting to begin tomorrow.
- I push my chair into the desk.
- I close the office door.
When you have a ritual, you build a habit. The nice thing, too, is my start of workday ritual is baked in. Just take the end of workday ritual and reverse it:
Open office door. Pull chair out to sit down. Turn on external monitor. Open laptop. Write. Check emails and texts. Start meetings.
You have now put away your electronics, and you can start winding down.
3. Dim the lights as much as possible.
Remember the bit about our bodies reacting to light? If you dim them and make the lighting as warm as possible, it will simulate a sunset, affecting your Circadian Rhythm. Keep the lights as close to the floor as possible. Here are a few that I really like:
- Sunset lamp: the orange color really helps my body sleep, and I put it on the ground and point sideways so it simulates the sun setting.
- I bought one that’s simple with only on-off functionality, but I also have another one that comes with a remote control, many different color options, and the ability to dim or raise the light’s intensity.
- I use the remote controlled one in my bedroom, so that I can simulate a sunrise by setting the intensity at 5% when my alarm goes off in the morning (and teach my body to wake up when it starts gradually seeing light turn on.)
- Electric candles: I used to like good old-fashioned candles, but my husband didn’t love the burning smell and the impact on our air quality. I founded super-realistic votive candles and tealight candles. I keep…
- two of each on my dining room table,
- one of each by my living room sofa,
- two tealight candles in the bathroom, and
- one of each by my nightstand in the bedroom
This teaches my body, it’s time to sleep - we don’t turn on any big lights, and avoid overhead lights like the plague. And if we want to read an analog book, I have a small, warm light lamp in the living room by the sofa. It’s the only one we’re allowed to turn on after wind down time.
Some homes also have the ability to control the intensity of lights in the house using a switch. If we need bigger lights to see something, I turn those on, but as dim as possible. You get the picture: keep lights as low as possible, as dim as possible, and as warm as possible.
4. Next, pick a wind-down activity (or two) to do.
They should be analog activities that don’t require much light, and something that leaves you in a good, relaxed state of mind (so no intense activities either for the brain, like intense journaling, or the body, like a workout.) They should also take no more than an hour to complete, since it has to fit into the schedule you’ve created for your wind down routine.
Try taking a nice, warm shower at night, which takes about 15 minutes. While I take cold showers in the morning after my workouts, I prefer warm showers at night because science shows that warm water can remind us of the safety and security of a hug from a loved one, or it can remind us of the feeling of being safe inside our mother’s womb. Baths typically work better than showers, but I find that baths take too long for me to draw and I feel guilt about the amount of water I’m using, so I opt for a shower instead. More power to you if you can do a bath!
There’s something really nice, too, about showering with only tea light candles on. It feels romantic and cozy, and I like to think that the warm light makes me feel safe. It further drives my body into a deep sense of relaxation.
After my shower, I’ll fill out my gratitude journal. I use the Five Minute Journal and it gives me enough structure where I don’t have to think too hard to fill it out, and it leaves me with a sense of joy and satisfaction in my day. This takes about 10 minutes.
Finally, I like to read at night until it’s time to sleep, about 30-45 minutes. I’ll take the electric votive candle, turn it so the flicker is on ‘OFF’, and read on the sofa.
Why the sofa and not the bed? Again, because we want our bed to be the space dedicated only for rest, sex, and sleep. Your rest, sex, and sleep will actually get better if you don’t send mixed signals to your body on what the space is supposed to be for!
Pick a book that will be relaxing and a delicious experience for you. I like reading books about spirituality at night, like The Surrender Experiment by Michael A. Singer, The Bhagavad Gita, anything written by Thich Nhat Hanh, and things like that. You might have other kinds of books that appeal to you. That’s fine - just again, nothing that is too exciting like a page-turner fiction book.
And make sure the book is analog. If you prefer a Kindle, that’s fine, but know that Kindles emit blue light to illuminate your screen. Even if it’s just a little bit — and it’s way better than other electronic devices — I have found that the backlight makes my brain feel stimulated!
In this case, I’d recommend wearing blue light glasses while reading from it.
5. Optional: Take a melatonin gummy.
Around one hour before bed, I sometimes take a melatonin gummy.
Melatonin usually kicks in 20-40 minutes after taking it (which is also its half life), hits its peak at 60 minutes, and wears off around 4-8 hours after taking it. So, on the nights I take melatonin, I usually take it around 8:00pm. More realistically, I pair my melatonin gummy intake with the time I journal, by keeping the container of melatonin next to my journal and pen.
Our bodies naturally produce about 0.2-0.3mg of melatonin per night for healthy adults. Unfortunately, most drug companies make melatonin supplements for adults starting around 1mg and it can go all the way up to 20mg doses!
To get around this, I really like the Kids Sleep melatonin gummies made by Olly. They only contain 0.5mg of melatonin, and it also contains 15mg of L-Theanine which promotes relaxation and is naturally found in some teas, along with other natural botanicals like chamomile, passionflower, and lemon balm to soothe the mind.
Don’t take melatonin every day. I try to give my body a break on days where I already feel sleepy, or when I know I don’t have any sense of urgency to sleep by 8:40pm (where I don’t have to wake up at 5:00am the next day.)
Instead, I save my melatonin days for the moments where life and work were especially stimulating that day, where I didn’t get to exercise as much (and therefore have some pent-up energy left over), or on Sundays to reset from the weekend’s activities before jumping back into my early morning routine again for Monday.
👉 Part Three: The Sleep Setup
You’ve set your alarm, avoided all your electronic devices successfully, used the dim lighting, completed analog activities, and you’re finally feeling sleepy. Now what?
It’s time to go to bed. Make sure you have the most ideal sleep setup to make going to bed a cherished, desired moment.
For me, that means having a comforter to myself, duvet covers from Brooklinen, a Pillow Cube for my head, a small pillow or baby blanket to hug, and a knee pillow in between my legs.
I don’t share comforters with my husband because I’m a blanket stealer, and we found during Year One of dating that having our own separate comforters kept us both feeling warm and snuggly. And we’re in love with our duvet covers from Brooklinen, which are the perfect heaviness while keeping the temperature nice and cool.
I love the Pillow Cube because I’m a side sleeper, and it actively supports my head in the most effortless way.
The small pillow I hug (a random $5 marshmallow-textured pillow from Daiso) helps me simulate sleeping in the fetal position, the most comforting position for me. The knee pillow in between my legs gives me the mindfulness to stack my knees on top of each other, to prevent lower back pain.
All in all, my sleep setup gets me in a space where I’m excited to get into bed and fall asleep. In fact, this is so crucial to me, that I pack the most essential parts of my setup any time I travel.
That’s right - I’ll take a medium-sized luggage, and the entire zippered side of the luggage is a dedicated space for my Pillow Cube, small pillow, and baby blanket. I bought a dedicated set just for travel to make this very easy.
Some people might think that’s overboard. I don’t. I think sleep is the best thing any of us can do for our health. Why not optimize for it?
Create an exquisite experience for you to look forward to sleeping at night. It seems so straightforward, yet, people seem to think that if you’re an adult that is picky about how you sleep, you’re fragile.
I don’t think you’re fragile. I think you’re smart to optimize for this.
You’ll now want to set your alarm for tomorrow. You will probably need an analog alarm clock to wake you up, since your phone is in the next room, tucked away safely. However, if you don’t want an analog clock, I’d recommend getting a Burner Phone.
What’s a Burner Phone? It’s a boring phone that has only the essentials on it: your alarm clock, a meditation app like Calm, and maybe Libby and Kindle so you can do audiobooks and read. The purpose of this phone is so that when you want to experience more mindful days, you can reach for this phone instead of your main device (that has all those distractions, like texts, social media, and so on.) I wrote more about this here.
My Burner Phone is an old iPhone that is a pain to use. It allows me to use my favorite alarm app, Alarmy. I pay the $7/month for no ads to facilitate a calm environment. And I have no desire to ever check it, because I don’t have anything on it. I don’t connect it to my Apple account, and no one has the phone number so I get zero text messages and calls on it.
If Apple still made the iTouch device from the 2000s, that would suffice. But since it doesn’t, this is the next best thing.
And that’s it. That’s the sleep routine.
Thanks for reading PJ Time with Regina ✨! Want more like this? Share your email with me to get smarter.
👉 Summary
- Decide what time you want to sleep. Choose your wind down routine to begin 1-1.5 hours before this. Set an alarm to remind you it’s time to sleep.
- Wear blue light glasses 2-3 hours before bed to prevent blue light from messing up your circadian rhythm.
- Have a dedicated place, like an office, to store ALL electronic devices for the evening. Don’t touch them again once you’ve put them away. Use a MagSafe charger to prevent yourself from touching your devices while they’re juicing up.
- Do not store any electronics in your bedroom, except for a device for your alarm (it should not be your personal cell phone; it should be a boring device with no access to texts, social media, or email.) Keep the temptation away.
- Dim lights as much as possible. Rely on warm, dim light from electronic candles and sunset lamps. Keep light as close to the ground as possible, and avoid any bright lights over the head (those simulate sunlight and confuse your circadian rhythm.)
- Pick some quiet, easy wind-down activities like light journaling, sitting in a sauna, reading, meditating, or showering.
- One hour before bed, take 0.5mg of melatonin if you need to reset your sleep schedule (such as after a busy weekend, or on a day where you didn’t get enough exercise so you might have pent-up energy in your body.)
- Create a sleep environment that makes going to bed a cherished, desired moment. Don’t be afraid of getting very picky about what makes you sleep well. Sleeping is the most amazing thing you can do for your health alongside exercise and good diet. Don’t be shamed into having a less-than-stellar sleep setup.
- Set your alarm for the next day. Use either an analog device like a real alarm clock, or a boring zen device like a boring iPhone with no apps or connectivity.
And here are the links to all of my favorite products. (Some of these links may be sponsored and come at no additional cost to you):
✨ Office Setup
- Blue Light Glasses: livho 2 Pack Blue Light Blocking Glasses, $12.23-$19.99
- Wireless Charger: Anker 2 Pack 313 Wireless Charger Stand, $29.99-$39.99
✨ Wind-Down Routine
- Sunset lamp: Tsrarey Sunset Lamp Projector with Remote Control and App, $23.99
- Electric votive candles: Homemory 6 Pcs Flameless Taper Candles with Remote Timer and Dimmer, $20.99
- Tea Light Candles: Homemory 12-Pack Flameless LED Tea Lights Candles, $6.99
- Candle Holders: BEZURA Tealight Candle Holder, $19.99
- Journal: The Five Minute Journal, $28.99
- Calming books: The Untethered Soul ($9.41), The Surrender Experiment ($9.39), The Bhagavad Gita ($16.99), The Art of Living ($14.99)
✨ Environment and Room Setup
- Melatonin: OLLY Kids Sleep Gummy, 0.5mg Melatonin, 50 count, $12.24
- Burner Phone: Apple iPhone SE 3rd Generation, $199.00
- Apps: Meditation - Calm App (try 30 days for free with this link; I get nothing as I already have a lifetime subscription!), $69.99/year, $399.99/lifetime; Alarmy - $7.99/month
- Duvet Covers: Brooklinen Classic Percale Duvet Cover - use this link to get $25 off, $100-$179
- Fitted Sheet: Bare Home Premium 1800 Microfiber Fitted Sheet, $13.99-$21.99
- Pillow: The Pillow Cube Ice Cube Deluxe, $129-$179; Pillow Cube Perfect Fit Pillowcase, $14.99-24.99